Helping Malnourished T.O. Youth

Father Gianni Carparelli blames fashion, ostentation and vanities for modern-day problems

From Viterbo, 60 years old, with a degree in Theology and Psychology, and President of the Caritas in Toronto, Father Gianni Carparelli is already known for helping people with drug addiction. He is also the cardinal point of many other social structures. Overall, however, this is the man who is in direct contact with the youthful awkwardness of the Italian-Canadian community.
Then, who are the young Italian people of Toronto and what are their troubles?
"This is interesting. In 1983 the Filef-Canada organized a workshop in Toronto: 'the young Italian-Canadians and their troubles and aspirations.' It was just a year after the Italian victory of the Soccer World Cup. Thousands of young Italian-Canadians were then in the streets singing, without shame: Viva l'Italia, we are number one. Those young people are young parents today... and the question is still the same: Who are the young Italian-Canadian people? You can recognize them at once: a particular kind of car, the fashion, the hairstyle, the Italian-provincial expressions in their language, a little arrogance without substance... 'mamma's boys.' They are famous because they give themselves airs."
Perhaps this behaviour hides inner trouble?
"Of course, one who needs 'to give oneself airs' has some problems and perhaps is afraid to be refuted and these arrogant people do not have valid arguments. And this is the behaviour of the young Italian-Canadians, this is the way this youth, with more and more diluted Italian blood, behaves, answers and drives. This could hurt many of these young people called Italians or, at least, dressed as Italians, but they miss something..."
In short, the Italian-Canadian youth is a cocktail of arrogance, vanity and ostentation...
"No... there is another class of young people that instead has a wider outlook on life and on the human condition. They are the ones who have not been seduced by designer labels, but are capable of thinking and respecting other people. There is so much energy in our community! Youth who do not make noise and are not loud because they are honest and fair and do not live in a foolish world made of fashion. But the media often shows just those who are 'noisy'."
Where are these young people who we can be proud of?
"You can find them where the family has not just built a bigger house but has also bought books, encouraged cultural trips, taught their kids to have good manners and to respect the values mediated by the Church, and even favoured education as more than just a means for earning more money. They are where the family has 'nourished' their children and has not forgotten the salt of wisdom and common sense."
Let's talk about this "nourishment."
"In a previous book for parents, I mentioned the Nutrition Theory of Rapaport. How do we nourish our children? Many of them receive material nourishment for the body, the clothes, the car, and the bigger and bigger house. Yet they are 'malnourished' as far as culture and soul. Otherwise, as many troubles of the body arise from the wrong kind of feeding, a large part of this 'malnourishment' arises from an unsatisfactory 'spiritual nourishment'. And this comes from a lack of common sense."
Then is the responsibility of everything upon the family?
"Not all the responsibility falls on the family even though the family is the key point. In fact I do not believe that it is correct to explain everything by means of 'genetics' or 'disposition'. Let's realize and let's be conscious of how important it is to 'educate' our children. Let us assume the responsibility and ask ourselves why our kids and grandchildren are not interested in art and quality unless it regards cars or fashion. Let's ask why the integrity and the respect and the education are not in fashion... and why there are so many mamma's boys forever and macho daughters. They were not born like that; they were nourished like that, because the family did not teach the good values of life."
Where has the famous all-Italian value of the sense of family gone?
"The sense of family was always traditionally felt deeply in our community and it did miracles in Toronto. We must not forget what hard impact the Italians had when they arrived here 60, 50 years ago. Now we are analyzing them and trying to understand them, but they did the effort, they walked the immigration path, not us. Some sociological studies underlined how much family life was important and essential for the young Italian-Canadians, who are now parents, perhaps grandparents."
What is the reason for this loss of value? What has happened?
"Something under the pressure of the dominant culture broke apart. And the institutions, such as the media or the church, were not always able to cope with the problem of closing this gap. And these are the consequences: this youth, under the mask of arrogance, vanity and ostentation, is not happy. This youth replaces the will to live with the appearance and the possession of things, often degenerating to drug use. But this is not a problem in our community alone."
You have a lot of experience with social problems, particularly juvenile troubles. What can society do about that?
"We have to stop this slow process of emptying that leads to spiritual ruin. I have seen many of these kids grow up feeling the void, without great ideals or ideas, like monuments built on sand, sooner or later they collapse, and their weakness can take them terribly down. That is where the family has to intervene and be present. Obviously, the drug problem is not a wound only of the Italian community. Yet as an Italian I ask Italian families not to be concerned about building a newer and bigger house. I ask them to be concerned about the spiritual foundations of their kids. I ask them to share the experiences with their children and not worry about their own mistakes. It would be rewarding."
I know you wrote a book that is going to be published...
"Yes, the title is Dancing the Walk, because the walks in life can be lived even 'dancing'. The wrong steps are like the mistakes in a symphony, they do not take away from the beauty, rather, they suggest to us that we have to be awake and not complain about them. I say do not be afraid to make mistakes. This is the reason why I suggest to families to walk the path with their own children, even if making mistakes is inevitable."
Let's talk about some of your experiences with families and their way of confronting children's problems.
"I knew families who, confronting their children's problems, rediscovered the priority in their life. They have understood that a life in family, dedicated to people they love, is better than showing what possessions they have to others. This kind of simpler life has led everybody, even kids in trouble, on the right path. Unfortunately other families helped by our little Caritas community, when they went back to the old environment, fell again into the same problems, losing more and more hope."
What do you suggest parents do?
"Listen to your children, without being afraid when they enter their wayward teenage years, is essential. We can even learn many things from their mistakes, which can indicate we have not offered them the proper direction. And if we have something to say or something to offer them, let's do it in their language and their style. Tandem is an ideal vehicle for communicating with them, it is fresh and interesting, it is most easily read by our young people... and I would say that we are already having an impact on the youth of today with this interview."

Publication Date: 2003-06-01
Story Location: http://tandemnews.com/viewstory.php?storyid=2800